Monday, August 9, 2010

When it's time to say goodbye

The past week has been tough for a number of friends as they say goodbye to Aunts, friends, Mothers, sisters and other family members. It is a solemn time for many and a learning time for others.

The grief process is never easy to go through and the range of emotions that follow the death of a loved one are true and personal.

I am hoping that in describing this process maybe we can all gain a better understanding not only of how we go through it, but also how to help others as they go through it.

The first stage is sadness. It is a sense of loss like nothing else and all energy and thoughts are on what is missing and it is sad.

The second stage is anger. This comes in many forms and 'at' many areas. Hospice care, family members, God, doctors, or even yourself.

The third stage is frustration as you begin to understand that there is no coming back from death and nothing you do can bring that person back. It is out of your control and that is frustrating.

The next stage is guilt and probably the one most people go to very quickly. It is a time of second guessing what you did or didn't do. I should have been there, If only I would have done something...these self guilt statements are part of the process.

The final stage is shock and no feelings. Nothing seems to invoke a feeling.

There is no way to say "I am all better now" after a loss of a loved one, but understanding that there is a process of grief will help each of us personally and as support folks.

There is NOTHING wrong with any of the stages. It is natural and part of life, embrace it and learn from it.

I am a firm believer that we all are passing through this world. We do all we can every day to make our lives in this world meaningful. I believe the same holds true for the next life - it will hold meaning and it will be an amazing journey.

If you are experience a loss - reach out as you can
If you know of someone who has experienced a loss - reach out as you can

We all get through life together - God Bless.

1 comment:

  1. I was out in my garden tonight, smelling the flowers that are in full bloom that I never knew smelled so good, or it my new sense of smell so I am more sensitive. Also cut out a lot of old growth. My neighbor Michelle stopped by as their cat Sparky of 22 years went outside on Monday night and they did not see it all day today. I asked Michelle if she looked in our other neighbors yard and she said she hadn't as the fence was too high and there was no way Sparky could have jumped over the fence. I told her I would take a look just to be sure, and sure enough, there lay poor Sparky, right under a bush in the corner of the yard. They plan to have Sparky cremated and find a place for her in their yard. I had read this blog post just before heading outside.