This week I was 'lucky' enough to get my taxes done. The only wonderful thing about this is that I have a dear and longtime friend who is my accountant AND I usually get something back. So it really is a nice thing. A night with a friend who knows me as well as anyone and a little money in my pocket by the end of February.
This year though I am faced with a bittersweet event. After 4 years of trying to make a go of Coffee Matters and GAB Matters, I have decided to close the small businesses. It was my first try at starting a business and I know it won't be my last, but this one was filled with the emotions of failure.
I have always believed that failure IS an option.When talking with others I look for the opportunities of learning and growing through failure. I actually promote that failing will teach you more than success any day! Well this may be true, but what I have not experienced is the emotions of failure; nor have I ever addressed them.
At first I wanted to try and justify my work - I tried, if only I had the marketing money, it was a thought before it's time, I don't have the energy needed, I am not interested in selling things...the list goes on and on. Now, some of these may actually be facts but I found myself trying to rationalize why I failed in my first business!
My brother asked me today why I hadn't posted since Monday, but since I have made the decision to close the company down, I have had an emotional brain cloud of failure over me. He made a few jokes about it and of course my accountant and a few friends said "it's the right thing to do" and even I know it is the right thing to do. But now what? What will I spend my energy on? What will I plan for? What will I do?
Not a hard question to answer, but I will write more tomorrow about my plan. The emotions of failure should not be taken lightly. They can make you feel so very negative and without purpose...time to look for the silver lining!