The long and the lost - This describes a number of my friends from the past. Over the years I have lost contact with many people I considered close friends.
Christmas card greetings become years apart and soon disappear. Friends move on to new places with new friends and the communications become increasingly less. You begin to create lives without them and although you mean well to keep in touch, days lead to months leads to years.
I have been as guilty as the next on letting this happen. I have 'tried' and all of a sudden the days are years.
This could be a very depressing blog post, but for those that know me I am not the depressing kind. I see silver linings, the cup half full, and the partly sunny skies.
Today I had the surprise of the year. It was all because of a post I made last week. One of my followers wrote me a personal note about the impact of the blog. She send the email to a personal account I have but rarely check. She told me later that she had sent it there so this morning I logged on to read what she wrote. The email was wonderful and something I needed to hear so I really appreciate the feedback on the blog, but as I closed her email down all of the unread emails came to view.
Advertising, spam, spam, a job opportunity and then I saw it! An email from a long lost friend! I instantly wore a smile and had to re-read the name a few times to make sure it was true. All the email said was "I heard a song we use to hear when we played pool and thought of you, so I googled you. How the heck are you?"
No blame, no issues, no problems - just a simple email to say she had been thinking of me. I immediately wrote back and after a few email exchanges feel like I know everything that has happened the past 5 or so years of losing touch. A simple song led to a simple search which led to a simple email which lead to a reconnection. It was like we never lost contact. I could see her face and hear her voice saying "how the heck are you?" True friends, lifelong friends, the long and the lost.
I told her my blog would be about her tonight as I really find something positive and purposeful about friendships. I have some friends who I talk to all the time. They are great and I wouldn't give them up for the world. I have friends who I have known for 30 years and every few years we connect just to check in.
Then I have friends who I grew up with. NOT as children, but as adult. The ones that know your soul by the experiences you had with them. They were the first to accept you for who you were and what you were. The first to care about you as a person and expect nothing in return. The first to see your dreams and push you towards them. You may not talk for months or years, but you think about them when you hear an old song or see an old restaurant you use to hang out at, or smell the aroma of a cheap cigar. They are memories so ingrained in your mind just one thought and it is like they are there.
This is an amazing feeling. To know that people you have cared about but lost touch feel the same. We all have these people in our past. Someone who use to say hi to you while walking home, or someone who stayed with you after a surgery, or someone who played pool with you while listening to really bad music.
I had been searching for this friend, yes google is my friend, but to no avail. Now, at the right time she appears. A renewed spirit, a caring heart, and a knowing soul.
If you want to live a positive and purposeful life today, be THAT person. Reach out to an old friend and say "How the heck are you doing?" Search for them and make them smile.
The Long and the Lost are rarely forgotten. They live in the depths of your heart. As you get ready to get a good night sleep tonight, think back to a person who you 'grew up with'. If you have no clue where they are at, google them, search for them, find them and connect! It does the heart good.
Thank you Sarah Sue!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
A long day...
What a day! Drove 200 miles north, ate at my favorite mexican restaurant, picked up a motorcycle and drove 200 miles back home! I am tired but excited as the bike is a Harley Davidson Heritage Softail..black with a white and red logo. Sweet deal and lots of fun.
I will load some pictures tomorrow morning but wanted to say I am very happy right now and loving life.
Live to ride, ride to live.
I will load some pictures tomorrow morning but wanted to say I am very happy right now and loving life.
Live to ride, ride to live.
Friday, October 8, 2010
What an end to the Summer!
Today it is nearly 80 degrees with a high of 85 coming by mid-day. It is fresh and clear and beautiful out.
I was asked to play hooky today to go and play. As tempting as this is, I find that my work needs to get done before I play.
When I was asked to play hooky from work I thought to myself "what would I do with a day like today?"
The "to-do" list is long and real playing isn't on the list. What! No playing on the 'to-do' list, that is uncivilized!
Why don't we put our play activities on our 'to-do' list? Think about how much we would be able to cross off the list if we listed the fun stuff as well as the need to do stuff!
On my unofficial 'to-do' list is:
Vacuum
Wash Clothes
Clean Floors
Put up Gutters
Fix the mower tire
Clean the Garage
Count the sweatshirts to sell
Take things to ARC
Clean out Fridge
Put up Christmas Lights
and organize file folders
No fun, nothing exciting, no play! I guess for me play comes after work. It is how I grew up and the value my folks instilled on all of us kids. I find this funny as now that they are retired and have all the time in the world to play they still have 'so much work to do they don't have time to play'!
So, I guess my thought is that if we don't take play as serious as work we will never play (or not play enough).
Add Play to your 'to-do' list! Enjoy the outdoors when you can! Live for play - not work!
I was asked to play hooky today to go and play. As tempting as this is, I find that my work needs to get done before I play.
When I was asked to play hooky from work I thought to myself "what would I do with a day like today?"
The "to-do" list is long and real playing isn't on the list. What! No playing on the 'to-do' list, that is uncivilized!
Why don't we put our play activities on our 'to-do' list? Think about how much we would be able to cross off the list if we listed the fun stuff as well as the need to do stuff!
On my unofficial 'to-do' list is:
Vacuum
Wash Clothes
Clean Floors
Put up Gutters
Fix the mower tire
Clean the Garage
Count the sweatshirts to sell
Take things to ARC
Clean out Fridge
Put up Christmas Lights
and organize file folders
No fun, nothing exciting, no play! I guess for me play comes after work. It is how I grew up and the value my folks instilled on all of us kids. I find this funny as now that they are retired and have all the time in the world to play they still have 'so much work to do they don't have time to play'!
So, I guess my thought is that if we don't take play as serious as work we will never play (or not play enough).
Add Play to your 'to-do' list! Enjoy the outdoors when you can! Live for play - not work!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Six Words
At my college reunion this past weekend there was a time to introduce yourself. There were around 80 classmates there and most I never really knew while I actually went to school. The class organizer got up and asked that we go around and introduce ourselves and since we didn't have a lot of time but really wanted to get to everyone, we should try and introduce ourselves in 6 words.
There were a few moans from the crowd (many of us like to talk about ourselves I guess), but then it got quiet as people begin to think about how to introduce themselves in 6 words. Silence for a few minutes and finally the organizer got up and said "okay, maybe 6 words is not enough, but if we can keep them short so we can get to everyone it would be great."
The first one went, married, 3 kids, 1 in college, work for 'someplace', and enjoys reading...the next and the next all saying the same type of things - how many kids, where they were enrolled in college, where they worked and one hobby. It went pretty quick but by the second table of folks one of the guys said "same as everyone, kids, college, I work and I like to play" then he said "but let me give you my six words. Caring, family, kids, traveling, renewed, and happy." Whoa! Six words and I knew more about him then if he were to tell me the kids names or where he lived. He was happy and he felt renewed. He cared for his family and kids and loved to travel. Now that is a person I could have a conversation with.
It is hard if you don't fit the mold of "3 kids, thinking of where they will go to college, and work at some place doing something and enjoy doing something". I was sitting next to my best friend from college and we kind of laughed as we told each other our 6 words. It was like I knew what she would say and she knew what I would say and we laughed at how much we still knew about each other having not spoken much in the past 25 years.
It reminded me that talking is sometimes very overrated and most of the time people do it just to hear themselves talk. I call it vocal thinking. Talk talk talk....yet nothing is said. What if you went to a meeting at work and said only 6 words? What if you put a project proposal with only 6 words? What if you introduced yourself to someone you didn't know with only 6 words? What would they be?
I think I am going to do this as a staff development at work and have everyone put there 6 words up in their work area. Then after a few days I want to see if it starts new conversations, new ideas, new friendships. Six words!
How would YOU describe yourself in 6 words?
There were a few moans from the crowd (many of us like to talk about ourselves I guess), but then it got quiet as people begin to think about how to introduce themselves in 6 words. Silence for a few minutes and finally the organizer got up and said "okay, maybe 6 words is not enough, but if we can keep them short so we can get to everyone it would be great."
The first one went, married, 3 kids, 1 in college, work for 'someplace', and enjoys reading...the next and the next all saying the same type of things - how many kids, where they were enrolled in college, where they worked and one hobby. It went pretty quick but by the second table of folks one of the guys said "same as everyone, kids, college, I work and I like to play" then he said "but let me give you my six words. Caring, family, kids, traveling, renewed, and happy." Whoa! Six words and I knew more about him then if he were to tell me the kids names or where he lived. He was happy and he felt renewed. He cared for his family and kids and loved to travel. Now that is a person I could have a conversation with.
It is hard if you don't fit the mold of "3 kids, thinking of where they will go to college, and work at some place doing something and enjoy doing something". I was sitting next to my best friend from college and we kind of laughed as we told each other our 6 words. It was like I knew what she would say and she knew what I would say and we laughed at how much we still knew about each other having not spoken much in the past 25 years.
It reminded me that talking is sometimes very overrated and most of the time people do it just to hear themselves talk. I call it vocal thinking. Talk talk talk....yet nothing is said. What if you went to a meeting at work and said only 6 words? What if you put a project proposal with only 6 words? What if you introduced yourself to someone you didn't know with only 6 words? What would they be?
I think I am going to do this as a staff development at work and have everyone put there 6 words up in their work area. Then after a few days I want to see if it starts new conversations, new ideas, new friendships. Six words!
How would YOU describe yourself in 6 words?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
A Gleeful night
I have become a follower of of Glee on TV and I must say that tonight's episode was one of the best yet.
It isn't so much the story lines that I like, but the creativeness of the writers to put music to the story lines. Every week the writers move you with the music that speaks to the issue at hand. The writers pull you into the lives of fictional characters and make you explore your own beliefs and views. The writers take the innocents of kids and shows those watching how their innocents is lost in this world.
Music, to me, is the words of the soul. It can make you cry, make you believe, make you fearless, and make you become someone you never thought possible. I often wonder what my life would be if I had to pick 6-8 songs that depict my values, attitudes, beliefs, joys and sorrows. What would my life be if put to music?
One of the songs from tonight's show would have been one I selected. If you are interested in learning about me through music I have included a few youtube.com songs of how I would put my life to music.
Believing - I look to you
Giving to Others- Let there be love
Achieving all you can - I am Woman
What would your songs be?
It isn't so much the story lines that I like, but the creativeness of the writers to put music to the story lines. Every week the writers move you with the music that speaks to the issue at hand. The writers pull you into the lives of fictional characters and make you explore your own beliefs and views. The writers take the innocents of kids and shows those watching how their innocents is lost in this world.
Music, to me, is the words of the soul. It can make you cry, make you believe, make you fearless, and make you become someone you never thought possible. I often wonder what my life would be if I had to pick 6-8 songs that depict my values, attitudes, beliefs, joys and sorrows. What would my life be if put to music?
One of the songs from tonight's show would have been one I selected. If you are interested in learning about me through music I have included a few youtube.com songs of how I would put my life to music.
Believing - I look to you
Giving to Others- Let there be love
Achieving all you can - I am Woman
What would your songs be?
Monday, October 4, 2010
Dual Survival
I have always had a part of me that knows I can survive in nearly any outdoor circumstance that comes along. Stuck in the Boundary Waters, lost in the woods, or on a deserted island I have always thought that I would be able to survive.
I can remember growing up and making fire without matches and learning about compass navigation. I even went so far in college of getting my ears pierced so I could wear hoop earrings. Why? Well, if I was ever stranded I would dream of making a fishing hook from my earrings and thus being able to fish for food.
I remember in college being named the "Person you would want to be stranded with" because I knew how to be creative with what was around and of course I have a striking personality. (smile)
As long as I can remember I have found that I look for survival tools, watch survival shows and learn and read about survival techniques. Now, Lord knows this isn't something I wish to ever happen, but it is nice to know that if I had to I would be a little prepared and not freak out (okay maybe freak out a little).
As I have become older I find that I would hope if this every did happen that I would not be alone. I could do it, but I think I like the idea of dual survival better. Someone to talk too, someone to help build a fire, find food and build the amazing sleeping fort.
Sounds like life, or at least my life. I was surviving by myself and did everything for myself. Now I find it is nicer to be surviving with others. Someone to talk too, someone to stay warm with, someone to call cook with and someone to call home.
Life is about survival but it is also about knowing you are not in it alone. You have partners, spouses, friends, neighbors and family. I hope we all have a dual survival companion in one shape or form. We are out here. When you find yourself on a personal deserted island make your SOS signal so we can find you!
Here's to helping each other survive.
I can remember growing up and making fire without matches and learning about compass navigation. I even went so far in college of getting my ears pierced so I could wear hoop earrings. Why? Well, if I was ever stranded I would dream of making a fishing hook from my earrings and thus being able to fish for food.
I remember in college being named the "Person you would want to be stranded with" because I knew how to be creative with what was around and of course I have a striking personality. (smile)
As long as I can remember I have found that I look for survival tools, watch survival shows and learn and read about survival techniques. Now, Lord knows this isn't something I wish to ever happen, but it is nice to know that if I had to I would be a little prepared and not freak out (okay maybe freak out a little).
As I have become older I find that I would hope if this every did happen that I would not be alone. I could do it, but I think I like the idea of dual survival better. Someone to talk too, someone to help build a fire, find food and build the amazing sleeping fort.
Sounds like life, or at least my life. I was surviving by myself and did everything for myself. Now I find it is nicer to be surviving with others. Someone to talk too, someone to stay warm with, someone to call cook with and someone to call home.
Life is about survival but it is also about knowing you are not in it alone. You have partners, spouses, friends, neighbors and family. I hope we all have a dual survival companion in one shape or form. We are out here. When you find yourself on a personal deserted island make your SOS signal so we can find you!
Here's to helping each other survive.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
25 years ago
This weekend was my 25th College Reunion and as I had posted early this week I was nervous to go. Well now that it is over I have to say I had the best time. I never considered myself an "in" person in college, actually just the opposite, so hearing the stories of how I impacted others lives just by caring, saying hi, and being there when they needed something really made this a wonderful weekend.
If you remember my post about being nervous I had 4 things: what if no one remembers me, what if I don't remember anyone, what if I have 120 people wanting to be my new friend, and how do I lose 40 pounds in 2 days. Here is how those all played out.
What if no one remembers me: This was not the case at all and I was surprised people still called me by my nickname "Nermie". When we were introducing ourselves I said my name and a number of the tables of people yelled "NERMIE". Yes, people do remember me.
What was fun around this was that after 25 years people have memories of the impact I had on them and they were more than willing to share those stories. How I was there for them in a very difficult time, or how much fun the floor had while I was the RA (Resident Assistant), or how we would make snow living rooms and pets outside the dorms...story after story was about a memory that I had no idea existed in someone else's mind.
What if I don't remember anyone: This was also not the case. It was like we had never left and as people would come up to me or me to them they would say their name and memories of our time together came rushing through. Good and bad, but we all survived and we all are better off from the experience. People that as soon as I say them I knew their name and was so happy to have just a few minutes of their time catching up. We all struggled together through 4 years of our lives and even with it being 25 years later, we all had a common bond, a common purpose, and a common story.
What if 120 people want to be my friend: This may be the closest to the truth of all nervous fears, but one that I completely hope for now. No, not all of them, but those that made an impact on me it was good to connect again and I hope we do stay in touch and see each other again. We exchanged business cards and we promised to think of each other from time to time. What I found was these 120 people have always been my friends, have always been part of my life, and will always continue to be.
The losing 40 pounds didn't seem to matter to anyone and I think everyone wishes we could look like we did 25 years ago. Men are going bald, women had put some weight on...bottom line is no one cared. It wasn't about how you looked it was about who you are.
This has been a remarkable weekend and I am so thankful that I was pushed to go. I learned a lot about myself by facing memories and people of the past and I have come out the other side with a renewed peace of understanding that in our every day lives we do make lifelong friends, we do care, and we do have an impact on others.
So to the class of 1985 from Concordia College I say thank you. For the memories, for the caring, for the friendship, and for the impact you have had on me.
If you remember my post about being nervous I had 4 things: what if no one remembers me, what if I don't remember anyone, what if I have 120 people wanting to be my new friend, and how do I lose 40 pounds in 2 days. Here is how those all played out.
What if no one remembers me: This was not the case at all and I was surprised people still called me by my nickname "Nermie". When we were introducing ourselves I said my name and a number of the tables of people yelled "NERMIE". Yes, people do remember me.
What was fun around this was that after 25 years people have memories of the impact I had on them and they were more than willing to share those stories. How I was there for them in a very difficult time, or how much fun the floor had while I was the RA (Resident Assistant), or how we would make snow living rooms and pets outside the dorms...story after story was about a memory that I had no idea existed in someone else's mind.
What if I don't remember anyone: This was also not the case. It was like we had never left and as people would come up to me or me to them they would say their name and memories of our time together came rushing through. Good and bad, but we all survived and we all are better off from the experience. People that as soon as I say them I knew their name and was so happy to have just a few minutes of their time catching up. We all struggled together through 4 years of our lives and even with it being 25 years later, we all had a common bond, a common purpose, and a common story.
What if 120 people want to be my friend: This may be the closest to the truth of all nervous fears, but one that I completely hope for now. No, not all of them, but those that made an impact on me it was good to connect again and I hope we do stay in touch and see each other again. We exchanged business cards and we promised to think of each other from time to time. What I found was these 120 people have always been my friends, have always been part of my life, and will always continue to be.
The losing 40 pounds didn't seem to matter to anyone and I think everyone wishes we could look like we did 25 years ago. Men are going bald, women had put some weight on...bottom line is no one cared. It wasn't about how you looked it was about who you are.
This has been a remarkable weekend and I am so thankful that I was pushed to go. I learned a lot about myself by facing memories and people of the past and I have come out the other side with a renewed peace of understanding that in our every day lives we do make lifelong friends, we do care, and we do have an impact on others.
So to the class of 1985 from Concordia College I say thank you. For the memories, for the caring, for the friendship, and for the impact you have had on me.
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