I have tried to give a few examples this week of people who I believe have indulged in purposeful living. One story about a real person making a purposeful commitment and the other from a movie that has truly changed people’s lives. After I wrote last night’s blog posting I did a Google search for “Pay it Forward”. Do you know that there are at least 10 different organizations in different countries that now take this premise/idea and are moving it forward? Now that is purposeful movie making.
I have one more from this morning I would like to share; maybe not so much purposeful living, but positive to say the least and impactful on me as well.
As I was walking into my work building this morning at 7:20am, I noticed a kid – maybe 20 – with a jacket on that had a college logo from a southern state. There are always a host of college and pro players around the building that sits next to two main hotels in Minneapolis, so this isn’t all of that unusual to see kids from other states/countries –never really at 7:30 am though. He was standing outside in the snow/blizzard grinning from ear to ear and I thought to myself what a wonderful smile, but what in the heck are you doing! Are you crazy! As I approached the door he grabbed the handle and opened it for me and said “this is absolutely amazing”.
A young kid, up at 7:20am, watching the snow fly in every direction, no hat just a workout suit and jacket, grinning from ear to ear and saying “this is amazing”.
How can your day NOT be great when it starts out with this!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
When life throws you lemons....
I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about today as work has been crazy and with the workouts at the gym, time becomes short some nights. I was tempted to just put in the header “Not tonight, I have a headache”. It wasn’t until the bus ride home that I knew I had something to say.
For those of you outside of Minneapolis the weather forecast for tonight is snow; 1 to 2 inches of light fluffy snow. South of here maybe 4-6 inches with a few advisories out. I wasn’t really happy about snow because that usually means more cold weather and a little work on shoveling. It wasn’t until the bus ride home that I realized that I was wasting my thoughts about tonight and tomorrow. It wasn’t until I heard others sarcastically complain about the snow that I sat up and stated in my head “whoa, is there nothing positive about 1-2 inches of snow?”
The comments on the bus were;
1. I suppose the plows won’t even worry about this amount so the road will be crappy tomorrow
2. Great, 2 inches of snow on top the ice already
3. Haven’t we had enough snow already!
4. I swear if school is cancelled and the kids have to stay home again I am going to be calling someone.
These are true statements! Within a 20 minute ride four ladies sitting in front of me complained that maybe their kids would be home and safe with them or spend time with their kids, and maybe the earth would gain a quarter inch of water from the snow fall, and maybe the new snow fall would cover up all the grey/black snow banks that we have around here from the last storm. Just maybe there is good in this!
I quickly caught myself thinking that I was as guilty today of making negative statements about something so positive. Yes, it will be a small hassle, yes people need to be careful, yes kids may stay home, but have we become so blind to the good that comes with a weather event that we totally lose sight of positive living?
May each of us find a way to make positive statements about something today! Remember when life throws you lemons, make lemonade.
For those of you outside of Minneapolis the weather forecast for tonight is snow; 1 to 2 inches of light fluffy snow. South of here maybe 4-6 inches with a few advisories out. I wasn’t really happy about snow because that usually means more cold weather and a little work on shoveling. It wasn’t until the bus ride home that I realized that I was wasting my thoughts about tonight and tomorrow. It wasn’t until I heard others sarcastically complain about the snow that I sat up and stated in my head “whoa, is there nothing positive about 1-2 inches of snow?”
The comments on the bus were;
1. I suppose the plows won’t even worry about this amount so the road will be crappy tomorrow
2. Great, 2 inches of snow on top the ice already
3. Haven’t we had enough snow already!
4. I swear if school is cancelled and the kids have to stay home again I am going to be calling someone.
These are true statements! Within a 20 minute ride four ladies sitting in front of me complained that maybe their kids would be home and safe with them or spend time with their kids, and maybe the earth would gain a quarter inch of water from the snow fall, and maybe the new snow fall would cover up all the grey/black snow banks that we have around here from the last storm. Just maybe there is good in this!
I quickly caught myself thinking that I was as guilty today of making negative statements about something so positive. Yes, it will be a small hassle, yes people need to be careful, yes kids may stay home, but have we become so blind to the good that comes with a weather event that we totally lose sight of positive living?
May each of us find a way to make positive statements about something today! Remember when life throws you lemons, make lemonade.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Pay it Forward
Many of you have probably seen the movie “Pay it Forward” so you may be able to guess what this post is about. For those of you that have not seen this, I recommend it. Not because of the life changing message it may have or the feel good feeling you may have, but for the message of purposeful living.
For those of you who have seen the movie remember the scene where the kid is sitting in the class and the teacher gave an assignment to devise and put into action a plan that would change the world for the better. He states “the realm of possibilities lives in each of you”. (I love this line).Some of the kids went the science way and did recycling projects or a lemonade stand to raise money for a shelter, but one kid (Trevor McKinney in the movie) devised an idea that if he did something good for 3 people and they were told to pay his kindness forward, he could change the world. His idea was that you ask for nothing in return of a gift you give; rather ask that the recipient of the gift give something to a different person in need.
So let’s do the math to see what happens. Three people asked to pay it forward to 3 other people equals 9 people. Nine people asked to pay it forward to 3 other people would add to 27, 27 paying it forward to 3 people is 81, 81 times 3 is 243, 243 x 729 people…you get the picture. By doing one positive purposeful living task this kid changed 100s of 1000s of lives. One kid, one idea, one action.
Now I know we don’t live in the movies, especially because sometimes there are few connections between the movies and reality, but I think this may be one movie we can learn from.
Let’s take the example of the woman who emailed about her purposeful living journey the past year and a half. How many people do you think she has impacted by changing her life, her career, her values, her attitude, her satisfaction? Three, nine, 27, 81, or more? How many people did she help along the way through nursing school? How many people will benefit from her talents and compassion in the future? How many family members are looking at her as a model of purposeful living and taking their next step?
For every act you do, for every statement you make, for every thought you have—are they grounded in your values? Are they positive and purposeful? Live for one day completely aware of your actions, thoughts and deeds. One day and ask yourself – am I living a positive and purposeful life? Am I ‘paying it forward’.
“In the order of nature we cannot render benefits to those from whom we receive them, or only seldom. But the benefit we receive must be rendered again, line for line, deed for deed, cent for cent, to somebody.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
For those of you who have seen the movie remember the scene where the kid is sitting in the class and the teacher gave an assignment to devise and put into action a plan that would change the world for the better. He states “the realm of possibilities lives in each of you”. (I love this line).Some of the kids went the science way and did recycling projects or a lemonade stand to raise money for a shelter, but one kid (Trevor McKinney in the movie) devised an idea that if he did something good for 3 people and they were told to pay his kindness forward, he could change the world. His idea was that you ask for nothing in return of a gift you give; rather ask that the recipient of the gift give something to a different person in need.
So let’s do the math to see what happens. Three people asked to pay it forward to 3 other people equals 9 people. Nine people asked to pay it forward to 3 other people would add to 27, 27 paying it forward to 3 people is 81, 81 times 3 is 243, 243 x 729 people…you get the picture. By doing one positive purposeful living task this kid changed 100s of 1000s of lives. One kid, one idea, one action.
Now I know we don’t live in the movies, especially because sometimes there are few connections between the movies and reality, but I think this may be one movie we can learn from.
Let’s take the example of the woman who emailed about her purposeful living journey the past year and a half. How many people do you think she has impacted by changing her life, her career, her values, her attitude, her satisfaction? Three, nine, 27, 81, or more? How many people did she help along the way through nursing school? How many people will benefit from her talents and compassion in the future? How many family members are looking at her as a model of purposeful living and taking their next step?
For every act you do, for every statement you make, for every thought you have—are they grounded in your values? Are they positive and purposeful? Live for one day completely aware of your actions, thoughts and deeds. One day and ask yourself – am I living a positive and purposeful life? Am I ‘paying it forward’.
“In the order of nature we cannot render benefits to those from whom we receive them, or only seldom. But the benefit we receive must be rendered again, line for line, deed for deed, cent for cent, to somebody.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monday, January 4, 2010
Purposeful Living
As part of this blog I will make an attempt to provide examples during one week each month of ways people live with purpose. All will be real examples, as I see so many people purposefully living. You will too if you take the time to see, listen, and be silent.
To begin I need to describe what I mean by purposeful living. Maybe the best way to describe what I mean by purposeful living is by saying what it is not. It is not about finding the one thing you do well and that is all you will ever do, it is not about being born to do just one thing – very few have this option and most are religious figures, it is not about being stuck or just dealing with life as that is all you can see. No, purposeful living means that everything you do and everything you are has come from a decision you have personally made that matches to your core values – remember them from a few days ago? A choice, an action, a feeling, an emotion, a word, a job, the list goes on and on. Making each of these decisions fills a purpose and if those decisions are aligned with your values, you are purposeful living.
Have you ever thought to yourself “what am I doing in this job” or “why did I spend money on this” or “what can I do to feel better”? If you have, then you are on your way to understanding not only your values, but how these statements can lead you to a higher level of purposefully living.
I want to share an example that I received from a past collogue of mine that shows how planning, decisions, and action have led to a high level of purposeful living in this person. Here is the email I received on Saturday. Look for how this person is purposefully living by making her life match her values.
How are you purposefully living? Share your stories and be part of the blog!
To begin I need to describe what I mean by purposeful living. Maybe the best way to describe what I mean by purposeful living is by saying what it is not. It is not about finding the one thing you do well and that is all you will ever do, it is not about being born to do just one thing – very few have this option and most are religious figures, it is not about being stuck or just dealing with life as that is all you can see. No, purposeful living means that everything you do and everything you are has come from a decision you have personally made that matches to your core values – remember them from a few days ago? A choice, an action, a feeling, an emotion, a word, a job, the list goes on and on. Making each of these decisions fills a purpose and if those decisions are aligned with your values, you are purposeful living.
Have you ever thought to yourself “what am I doing in this job” or “why did I spend money on this” or “what can I do to feel better”? If you have, then you are on your way to understanding not only your values, but how these statements can lead you to a higher level of purposefully living.
I want to share an example that I received from a past collogue of mine that shows how planning, decisions, and action have led to a high level of purposeful living in this person. Here is the email I received on Saturday. Look for how this person is purposefully living by making her life match her values.
Great blog, Janice! I will have to get in there and become a "follower" and sign up, etc.! It is amazing when you stop to think about what you want in life and when things finally fall into place for those things to happen - it gives definition to "meant to be".
1 1/2 years ago, I decided I should look further at what I wanted to do when I "grow up". I spoke with an advisor at a college and realized I could do whatever I wanted to do and that a ton of things sounded interesting to me! A week later, I attended a nursing information session and signed up for 3 classes that I needed to retake since mine were outdated by 1 year. I also knew instinctively that I wanted to work with women in the OB unit for labor & delivery/postpartum care - even though I didn't know entirely what that would entail AND that I wanted to work at North Memorial Hospital.
At the end of that semester, I found out I was pregnant. I quickly made a mental schedule of events that needed to take place for me to keep moving on the RN track. I took Anatomy & Physiology 1 last Jan-May, became certified as a nursing assistant and applied to the RN program in June, took A&P II in July, and finished with 2 weeks to spare before Tyler was born. Since Tyler's lungs weren't quite ready, he spent a week in the NICU. As I was in the hospital with him, I took the opportunity to "interview" every nurse that I came in contact with.
In September, I found out I was accepted for the January start of the RN program at Anoka Ramsey CC. Mid-October, I attended an information session at the Maple Grove (North Memorial) Hospital and made application at the end of October for several CNA positions. Through a series of coincidental events, I established that my cousin's aunt worked at the hospital. In November, it was through her that I found out that there were 8,000 applicants for 175 positions at the new hospital, which opened December 30th, '09. Despite the odds, on Tuesday, December 14th, I had a phone screening with an HR rep at the hospital.
Last Thursday, at 11:00 am, I had an in-person interview with the Nursing Manager for the Women's & Children's Services (Birthing Center) department. I couldn't get a feel for the interview one way or another because the manager sort of indicated that she hadn't hired very many (if any) people without CNA experience and I knew it might be challenging to work with my school schedule. But, at 5:15pm, I received a phone call, and became the newest member of the Maple Grove Hospital team!!
I cannot believe that a vision I put in place a year and a half ago is actually happening!!! I know I did all of the logistical things I needed to do, but I'm still in somewhat disbelief at the opportunities I have been presented with (even with their challenges) and that I am officially starting my healthcare career!!
You have been an excellent mentor for me since you joined Capella back in the day, and your passion for people and life has always been a huge part of that. So, when I do finally get signed up and logged in to blog spot, I will check, "yes, it has inspired me to be more!"
How are you purposefully living? Share your stories and be part of the blog!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The Tigers are Coming! The Tigers are Coming!
Hello Sunshine---hello -12 below! My positive statement of the day is “at least I don’t live in Northern Minnesota where the low last night was -32 degrees Fahrenheit! Yes, 32 below and that was without wind chill! Burr!
What does this have to do with tigers coming? Well, I was trying to think of what animal can cause fear in an elephant and the only thing I could think of were tigers!
Day 1 of the healthy living and tigers surrounded me this morning. You know the kind, they have little voices that come into your head and make statements like “I can start this exercise stuff tomorrow” or “I think I am getting a headache” or “It is too cold to do anything but eat a big bowl of Mac and Cheese” or “Do you think anyone really would care”? Those tigers! The tigers of doubts and excuses that come after you make a commitment to yourself! We all have them and I am here to say we have a choice, yes a choice to listen to them or battle through their war cries and persevere!
This morning I choose to persevere! Yes it was cold out and yes I wasn’t feeling great, but this is my life and I get to determine how each day will be spent! So, back off tigers I am going to the gym! 45 minutes later I have done a great bicep and triceps workout; as well as walked the treadmill for 20 minutes. May not sound like much, but for me it is the beginning piece of the elephant.
What are your tigers? Listen to them and then decide for yourself that you are in charge!
One of my favorite lines from the movie “The Holiday” is when Kate Winslet says “You should be the leading lady in your own life, for God’s Sake”!
Watch those tigers, they are everywhere and then choose to not ignore them, but tame them. Be the leading lady or man in your own life!
What does this have to do with tigers coming? Well, I was trying to think of what animal can cause fear in an elephant and the only thing I could think of were tigers!
Day 1 of the healthy living and tigers surrounded me this morning. You know the kind, they have little voices that come into your head and make statements like “I can start this exercise stuff tomorrow” or “I think I am getting a headache” or “It is too cold to do anything but eat a big bowl of Mac and Cheese” or “Do you think anyone really would care”? Those tigers! The tigers of doubts and excuses that come after you make a commitment to yourself! We all have them and I am here to say we have a choice, yes a choice to listen to them or battle through their war cries and persevere!
This morning I choose to persevere! Yes it was cold out and yes I wasn’t feeling great, but this is my life and I get to determine how each day will be spent! So, back off tigers I am going to the gym! 45 minutes later I have done a great bicep and triceps workout; as well as walked the treadmill for 20 minutes. May not sound like much, but for me it is the beginning piece of the elephant.
What are your tigers? Listen to them and then decide for yourself that you are in charge!
One of my favorite lines from the movie “The Holiday” is when Kate Winslet says “You should be the leading lady in your own life, for God’s Sake”!
Watch those tigers, they are everywhere and then choose to not ignore them, but tame them. Be the leading lady or man in your own life!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
How do you Eat an Elephant?
Today I would like to talk more about resolutions and how we can be more successful at keeping them and not end up in the 88% who never see their resolutions though, or the 48% that don’t even feel they can make it one day!
I am calling this day “How to eat an Elephant”. You’ve all heard this phrase, so you all know the next line right? You eat an elephant, I bite at a time! Here in lies the answer to keeping resolutions. By breaking down the elephant into smaller chunks, maybe I can eat the whole elephant—so much for the diet!
To start this process I want to talk about SMART goal setting. Many of you have heard and used SMART goal setting, but for anyone who needs a refresher SMART stands for: Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Sensitive. SMART!
Now the first step to the elephant process is to actually describe what the elephant is, if you have a herd of elephants you will need to describe each member of that herd. For me I have two elephants I want to eat one bite at a time this year. The first elephant is called “Becoming Healthy” and the second elephant is “living a positive and purposeful life”. Big elephants I know, but I know I can do both and be very successful if I use SMART to get there.
Elephant/Goal 1: Becoming Healthy
SMART Goal Statement: I will lose 30 pounds by October 2010 by dedicating myself to working out with my personal trainer three times a week and go to the gym at least five times every week.
Elephant/Goal 2: Living a positive and purposeful life
SMART Goal Statement: I will write a blog at least 300 days in 2010 and each day find at least one example of how I or those around me are examples of positive and purposeful living.
Specific, Yes – 30 pounds by October and blog at least 300 days
Measureable, Yes – The scale will not lie, and I can count how many posts I make this year
Attainable, Yes – 30 pounds in 10 months means 3 pounds a month, I have a personal trainer that is paid through next October and I belong to a gym 1 mile away. I have started the blog and so far have more things to say and write about then days.
Relevant, Yes – I need and want to feel better and be able to live a long and healthy life and relevant examples of positive and purposeful living will lead to continuous blog postings.
Time – Sensitive, Yes – I have a timeline of October 2010 for the weight and December 31, 2010 for the end of this blog.
I’m done right? Au contraire my PPL followers this is just the beginning. Just because I have cut the elephant down to smaller sizes, I still have not done enough. Challenge yourself folks, how do we cut this up into bite size pieces? Use my example or come up with your own, how do we get these goals down to a size that we can see results NOT in October or December, but maybe Feb, June, August, and November as well?
We do this by taking our SMART statements and going one step deeper. I will give one example, and then I hope you all do the same with your New Year’s Elephants!
First and foremost I need to answer the question “do my goals match my values”? I say yes by tying directly to the values of Achieving and Believing. I Value achieving what I think is impossible and losing weight and dedicating to writing a blog are both achievable. I also value believing in others and myself, so this is a perfect opportunity to live my values by believing that I can do this, all of this. I have the ability, time, energy, thoughts, and gym membership so I truly believe I can do this.
Second, I need to make these elephants a little smaller so I will make my monthly SMART goal to read: I will lose at least 3 pounds every month by increasing the frequency of working out and using my personal trainer at least twice a week. I will measure my results at the end of each month. Now that is one bit at a time.
How about you? What are your elephants? What are your SMART Goals? How do your goals align with your values? What smaller SMART goals can you work on?
More tomorrow!
I am calling this day “How to eat an Elephant”. You’ve all heard this phrase, so you all know the next line right? You eat an elephant, I bite at a time! Here in lies the answer to keeping resolutions. By breaking down the elephant into smaller chunks, maybe I can eat the whole elephant—so much for the diet!
To start this process I want to talk about SMART goal setting. Many of you have heard and used SMART goal setting, but for anyone who needs a refresher SMART stands for: Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Sensitive. SMART!
Now the first step to the elephant process is to actually describe what the elephant is, if you have a herd of elephants you will need to describe each member of that herd. For me I have two elephants I want to eat one bite at a time this year. The first elephant is called “Becoming Healthy” and the second elephant is “living a positive and purposeful life”. Big elephants I know, but I know I can do both and be very successful if I use SMART to get there.
Elephant/Goal 1: Becoming Healthy
SMART Goal Statement: I will lose 30 pounds by October 2010 by dedicating myself to working out with my personal trainer three times a week and go to the gym at least five times every week.
Elephant/Goal 2: Living a positive and purposeful life
SMART Goal Statement: I will write a blog at least 300 days in 2010 and each day find at least one example of how I or those around me are examples of positive and purposeful living.
Specific, Yes – 30 pounds by October and blog at least 300 days
Measureable, Yes – The scale will not lie, and I can count how many posts I make this year
Attainable, Yes – 30 pounds in 10 months means 3 pounds a month, I have a personal trainer that is paid through next October and I belong to a gym 1 mile away. I have started the blog and so far have more things to say and write about then days.
Relevant, Yes – I need and want to feel better and be able to live a long and healthy life and relevant examples of positive and purposeful living will lead to continuous blog postings.
Time – Sensitive, Yes – I have a timeline of October 2010 for the weight and December 31, 2010 for the end of this blog.
I’m done right? Au contraire my PPL followers this is just the beginning. Just because I have cut the elephant down to smaller sizes, I still have not done enough. Challenge yourself folks, how do we cut this up into bite size pieces? Use my example or come up with your own, how do we get these goals down to a size that we can see results NOT in October or December, but maybe Feb, June, August, and November as well?
We do this by taking our SMART statements and going one step deeper. I will give one example, and then I hope you all do the same with your New Year’s Elephants!
First and foremost I need to answer the question “do my goals match my values”? I say yes by tying directly to the values of Achieving and Believing. I Value achieving what I think is impossible and losing weight and dedicating to writing a blog are both achievable. I also value believing in others and myself, so this is a perfect opportunity to live my values by believing that I can do this, all of this. I have the ability, time, energy, thoughts, and gym membership so I truly believe I can do this.
Second, I need to make these elephants a little smaller so I will make my monthly SMART goal to read: I will lose at least 3 pounds every month by increasing the frequency of working out and using my personal trainer at least twice a week. I will measure my results at the end of each month. Now that is one bit at a time.
How about you? What are your elephants? What are your SMART Goals? How do your goals align with your values? What smaller SMART goals can you work on?
More tomorrow!
Friday, January 1, 2010
The New Years Resolution
Happy New Year!
So did everyone make your New Years Resolution last night? New Years Resolution, now that is a positive topic, or is it? I find it interesting that the majority of people out there will make at least one New Years Resolution, at least one. What I find even more interesting, yet not surprising, is that only about 10% of us actually feel we keep our resolutions. That’s right, only 10%!
I searched the web last night looking for articles on what the most popular resolutions are. Not surprising I found many of my past resolutions on the list; lose weight, exercise more, eat better, get a better job, save money, get organized, be less grumpy, stop smoking, stop drinking, travel more, and visit my parents more. I can honestly say that the only thing I have done on from my last 25 years of resolutions is travel more. 25 years of resolutions and I have taken two vacation trips! Not what I would call real successful. It makes me wonder why? Why can’t I hold myself to the resolutions I make for myself?
There was a study done in the UK on 3000 men and women. Of the 3000 men and women 52% of them felt very confident they could be successful with their goals. Hum…so even before the study really started, 48% of the participants in the study didn’t think they would actually be successful at working even one day at keeping their resolution.
So 48% weren’t confident from the start, but what about the other highly confident 52%. It may not surprise you to read that out of the highly confident men and women only 12% of them actually achieved their goal! Men reported a 22% success rate while women only 10%. (http://www.quirkology.com/UK/Experiment_resolution.shtml). I question why? Why is it that we can set goals for ourselves, but few of us will ever be successful at achieving these goals?
Let’s start this exploration by first looking at the work ‘resolution’. Webster Dictionary describes resolution as: the act of resolving, the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones, the act of answering, the act of determining, the list of acts goes on. This is my first clue as to why I haven’t been successful at keeping any resolutions. The word ‘act’ has never been part of my resolutions! I haven’t analyzed or answered or determined or put into simpler form anything! I am starting to question how anyone would actually keep a resolution, but then I read this from Merriam-Webster Online Thesaurus. The synonyms for the word resolution are: Courage, Determination, and Decision. The description for the word was a “firm or unwavering adherence to one’s purpose”. That’s it! One’s Purpose! I know why I have been resolutionily (yes I know this isn’t a word, yet) challenged for so long, I have never stated a resolution that tied to my purpose! Whoa, positive learning here! So, what does that mean?
The first step in learning about one’s purpose is to start by understanding your personal values. A value is something that comes from within. It is what motivates you to be more. There are many ways to determine your values and one easy way is to start with a list of 100 values and carefully whittle it down to 3 or 4 that really describe you. I will attach a sheet I share with my life coaching clients as a starting spot, but it is in no way an exclusive list. I think it’s important to start with values as they describe your purpose, and if you can describe your purpose, then you can resolve to do and be anything.
For me, my values are giving, achieving and believing. I call it my GAB Matters. I hold them true and close to my heart. I find myself questioning things I do and always go back to the true question of “does ‘this’ fit into my values?” If the answer is yes, I continue and if it doesn’t I stop. I am my values and my values are me. What are your values? If you were to describe yourself in 3 or 4 words what would they be?
Many may ask where am I going with this post. First I am talking about resolutions and the next thing I have homework to do around my values. Well, it’s easy. I think many of us fail at our resolutions because many of our resolutions do not fit into our personal values. An example: I have always had a weight problem, well maybe not a problem, but the scale says I should lose some pounds. I have been on more diets and exercise programs then I can count on many hands and feet, but still I am overweight. I know it, I see it, I live it and you would think that sooner or later I would ‘resolve’ to change.
The problem is that healthy living is NOT one of my values. Not right now at least so I make statements of “I am going to get into shape” and “ I am going to look good by this summer” and my values say giving of yourself is important, achieving more is important, and believing in yourself and others is important. No where is being fit important. My point is that in order for a resolution to really work, it has to be part of your values. I want to talk more about this over this weekend as I think it is important, but I will close today’s post by saying: This Year I resolve to find a way every day to achieve a healthier life style. I will do this by setting small goals that can be measured weekly and be very specific about what actions I can take to achieve each goal! There, my New Years Resolution.
Sources:
resolution. (2009). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. Retrieved December 31, 2009, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resolution
So did everyone make your New Years Resolution last night? New Years Resolution, now that is a positive topic, or is it? I find it interesting that the majority of people out there will make at least one New Years Resolution, at least one. What I find even more interesting, yet not surprising, is that only about 10% of us actually feel we keep our resolutions. That’s right, only 10%!
I searched the web last night looking for articles on what the most popular resolutions are. Not surprising I found many of my past resolutions on the list; lose weight, exercise more, eat better, get a better job, save money, get organized, be less grumpy, stop smoking, stop drinking, travel more, and visit my parents more. I can honestly say that the only thing I have done on from my last 25 years of resolutions is travel more. 25 years of resolutions and I have taken two vacation trips! Not what I would call real successful. It makes me wonder why? Why can’t I hold myself to the resolutions I make for myself?
There was a study done in the UK on 3000 men and women. Of the 3000 men and women 52% of them felt very confident they could be successful with their goals. Hum…so even before the study really started, 48% of the participants in the study didn’t think they would actually be successful at working even one day at keeping their resolution.
So 48% weren’t confident from the start, but what about the other highly confident 52%. It may not surprise you to read that out of the highly confident men and women only 12% of them actually achieved their goal! Men reported a 22% success rate while women only 10%. (http://www.quirkology.com/UK/Experiment_resolution.shtml). I question why? Why is it that we can set goals for ourselves, but few of us will ever be successful at achieving these goals?
Let’s start this exploration by first looking at the work ‘resolution’. Webster Dictionary describes resolution as: the act of resolving, the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones, the act of answering, the act of determining, the list of acts goes on. This is my first clue as to why I haven’t been successful at keeping any resolutions. The word ‘act’ has never been part of my resolutions! I haven’t analyzed or answered or determined or put into simpler form anything! I am starting to question how anyone would actually keep a resolution, but then I read this from Merriam-Webster Online Thesaurus. The synonyms for the word resolution are: Courage, Determination, and Decision. The description for the word was a “firm or unwavering adherence to one’s purpose”. That’s it! One’s Purpose! I know why I have been resolutionily (yes I know this isn’t a word, yet) challenged for so long, I have never stated a resolution that tied to my purpose! Whoa, positive learning here! So, what does that mean?
The first step in learning about one’s purpose is to start by understanding your personal values. A value is something that comes from within. It is what motivates you to be more. There are many ways to determine your values and one easy way is to start with a list of 100 values and carefully whittle it down to 3 or 4 that really describe you. I will attach a sheet I share with my life coaching clients as a starting spot, but it is in no way an exclusive list. I think it’s important to start with values as they describe your purpose, and if you can describe your purpose, then you can resolve to do and be anything.
For me, my values are giving, achieving and believing. I call it my GAB Matters. I hold them true and close to my heart. I find myself questioning things I do and always go back to the true question of “does ‘this’ fit into my values?” If the answer is yes, I continue and if it doesn’t I stop. I am my values and my values are me. What are your values? If you were to describe yourself in 3 or 4 words what would they be?
Many may ask where am I going with this post. First I am talking about resolutions and the next thing I have homework to do around my values. Well, it’s easy. I think many of us fail at our resolutions because many of our resolutions do not fit into our personal values. An example: I have always had a weight problem, well maybe not a problem, but the scale says I should lose some pounds. I have been on more diets and exercise programs then I can count on many hands and feet, but still I am overweight. I know it, I see it, I live it and you would think that sooner or later I would ‘resolve’ to change.
The problem is that healthy living is NOT one of my values. Not right now at least so I make statements of “I am going to get into shape” and “ I am going to look good by this summer” and my values say giving of yourself is important, achieving more is important, and believing in yourself and others is important. No where is being fit important. My point is that in order for a resolution to really work, it has to be part of your values. I want to talk more about this over this weekend as I think it is important, but I will close today’s post by saying: This Year I resolve to find a way every day to achieve a healthier life style. I will do this by setting small goals that can be measured weekly and be very specific about what actions I can take to achieve each goal! There, my New Years Resolution.
Sources:
resolution. (2009). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. Retrieved December 31, 2009, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resolution
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