Do you have Regrets?

Do you have regrets? Most of us do in one form or the other. I should have done this, or I really missed that opportunity, or I wish I would have x...we all have them and most likely you can name the ones you have.

So what are you doing about them? You know you CAN do something about them. Maya Angelou has a quote "sometimes life gives you a second chance", that I really think rings through with regrets.

For every regret I have ever had one of two things have happened. Either the result has been more important then the regret and thus it has become a blessing OR I have taken the regret and found a second chance to do what I regretted in the first place. Let me give you some examples.

Turning regrets into blessings. This takes some work, but maybe less work and more insight into who you are.

I use to regret never getting married, settling down in northern MN and having a houseful of kids. That possibility was 20 some years ago. After many years of feeling great regret for not figuring out how to make it work out with Kelly #1 (yes there were 3 in my life), I finally figured out that had that come true for me I would NOT have a PhD, I would not have lived in Seattle and got to know my brother better, I would not know much more about computers, I would not be passionate about coaching, I would not have a blog, I would not have the friends I have, and I would not a loving life. Regrets or blessing? I like to think this was a blessing.

I use to regret that I was alone for so many years; and I mean alone. I was living in Seattle in an apartment by myself and I worked a lot of hours and would go home. I didn't have a lot of friends and my brother was busy with his life so many nights I sat on my deck alone and feeling lonely. My only 'friends' were from work and they all went home to their families, roommates, or partners...I went home to an empty apartment. It was the first time in my life that I wasn't surrounded by people all the time and I regretted moving to Seattle, living by myself, and not having people around me. Regret or blessing?

Looking at this years later I learned that this was really a blessing as had I not been that lonely for that long I would never have known what I wanted in life. I knew when I moved back to Minnesota that I needed to be around people, that I needed to feel needed, and that I wanted to make sure others living alone knew that they were never alone.

Getting a Second Chance. This is the other side of what to do with a regret; look for the second chance.

I have more examples of this side of regrets both big and small, but it's all about looking for and taking second chances to make it better.

Summers in MN are sometimes short so you have to take every opportunity to enjoy the outdoors that you can. I can count on one hand how many times I went fishing last year, one hand. This from a fishing fanatic! I got so busy doing things or doing nothing that I didn't enjoy my passion. Very regretful for me. Now I have a second chance.

In 2010 I have gone fishing more since January than I did all of last year. I actually went ice fishing 3 times and have shored fish 3 times already and opener is still 2 weeks away! Having second chances is about taking opportunities! I contacted a fishing buddy from my home town and went ice fishing, I took a drive to a monster chain of lakes in the Twin Cities and found some awesome shore fishing places...all because I didn't want another year of regrets in regards to my personal fishing habit.

This may seem trivial to many, but regrets hurt the worse when they are about something you love the most!

So, Regrets - blessings or opportunities? Think about the regrets you have in your life. What are you going to do about them? Life is full of second changes! Putting regrets in a new light you get a blessing! It's up to you--live in pain for what has happened or in pleasure for what you have done!